10 years later, I still see you

In December 2009, was released a major blockbuster science fiction, a world created and directed by one of my favorite directors, James Cameron. This movie was Avatar, and I liked it so much that I was seeing it at least four times in a movie theater. One character had marked me more than the others, it was the main female character: Neytiri. If I could have imagined how much this character would change my life and help me, in a sense, to become the man I am today ...

2009 was a time of great trouble for me. I was lost, without style and identity, harassed constantly at school because of my shyness, my last name or my taste for fantasy and science fiction (a few times later, I would fall into nervous breakdown, but this is not the subject). Upon discovering the film Avatar and the character of Neytiri, something has awakened in me. I felt for Neytiri, which I had never felt before for a female character. I fell in love with Neytiri, her design, her character and her convictions. She is a strong woman, and that's what made me realize that I myself was not, that I let myself be done by the others. That's why after I went back several times to see Avatar in the cinema, even if I knew the script by heart, I did not care, I wanted to see again the story, the characters, the universe of Avatar, and also Neytiri of course. In addition to feeling connected to Neytiri, I became more and more connected to the Na'vi people, their culture, their music, their communion with their world. I never felt proud to be a human and to be part of a race so violent and immature, and seeing the Na'vi, I sometimes said to myself: "if I could have been one of them...."

But of course, I got a lot of mockery when I said my new passion for the world of Avatar and the interest I carried for Neytiri. I have even been called a zoophile because Neytiri is not human. WTF?! Neytiri is not an animal, she's a woman of an alien species with an intelligence very similar to that of humans, although the Na'vi are wiser and respectful of their environment.

Finally, I did not talk about Avatar anymore and I kept it for myself. After falling into a nervous breakdown, Avatar and Neytiri were a support among others, because I felt (and I still feel) connected to this character and this universe that has a special place in my heart. I don't give a fuck if it sounds strange to some, but when I was in nervous breakdown, I said to myself, "If Neytiri saw me, what would she tell me?"

And today, 10 years later, Neytiri is still in my heart, keeping the place of the very first fictional crush that came into my life, and which reinforced my passion in the universes I already loved, and in those of which I will become a fan in the future. And now, I'm looking forward to the arrival of Avatar 2. James Cameron, I'm counting on you, and Neytiri, see you again soon!

To people who like me have some special characters in their hearts and minds, welcome to you!

Fuck the haters! Fuck the trolls! Fuck the bullies!

Mathias, the Killmaster

Fire and Blood \m/