A really disturbing feeling

At first I did not want to talk about it, but I did not want to keep buried, so I decided to write it.
I had a funny feeling today. I do not remember the exact time. I looked out my bedroom window I could see the sky, the roofs of the other houses in my village, and the street. And at a moment, I had a strange feeling and strange thoughts that lasted a few seconds. I had the feeling of not being in my place in this world, as if I wanted to leave, I do not know where, but no longer in this world. I know it sounds silly, but it's true. It was a strange and rather unpleasant feeling, and I have no idea why I felt at that moment. I felt bad, almost sad. I felt like an alien on another planet.
Then I think back to my suicidal thoughts and the suicide attempt that I made during my nervous breakdown. I hope this is not what I think. That my ideas to having the feeling to have not my place in this world and want to leave are just my suicidal thoughts, repressed and buried, manifested differently. I don't want that. I have no reason to want to leave. I have not talked about it to my parents and I don't dare. I am confused and does not know what to think about that.

DAMN! What's wrong with me?